After my analysis, I came up with Top 5 Leadership Capabilities that I personally believe are very important for an Bullet-proof Leadership framework.

1) Edge - Create an inspiring vision of the future, make tough strategic decisions, act with entrepreneurial spirit

2) Energy – Be fascinated by the work and initiate a continuous change and learning

3) Energize – Guide and motivate your employees and develop the next generation leaders

4) Execute – Get the right things done with highest impact and quality

5) Passion – Having a heartfelt, deep and authentic excitement about our customers, the profession and your company.

Two-way communication is the magic potion for effective communication, building relationship and having coaching conversation. In this kind of communication both parties contribute and build a stronger and meaningful bond.  Communication is successful only when the receiver understands the message intended by the sender.

Two-way communication is a dialogue between two or m0re individuals;  something similar to the picture in this blog.

Do’s of Two-Way Communication

1) Show interest and set a time and don’t allow interruptions

2) Agree on the purpose. Find out what the other person wants to accomplish as well as create an agenda/keep track of what needs to be covered

3) Listen to other’s views and find out what matters to the other person. Ask for explanations or facts that can help you understand. Make your point simply and by using clear language so that there is no confusion about the message. Choose words and an approach that will make sense to the other person

4) Show an openness to other’s ideas and pay attention to body language

5) Slow down and ask questions when you see signs of disagreement, tension or reluctance.

6) Follow up to be sure you understood each other and acknowledge both your own and the other person’s emotions

Don’ts for Two-Way Communication

1) Show up late, leave early or repeatedly postpone

2) Take over the conversation and waste each other’s time

3) Assume you know what the other person thinks and assume you know everything the other person knows.

4)  Provide unnecessary detail or complicated explanations. State opinions as facts, without support Use terms which are unfamiliar to the other person.

5) Tell the other person what to do without taking his/her input

6) Accept verbal commitments when your other senses tell you that the person has not bought in

7) Assume that further discussions are unnecessary and act unconcerned about what the other person is thinking

Be it work or personal life I have been in some really difficult and uncomfortable conversations. Sometimes I don’t know what I should say or how to handle it. Over the period of time and with the guidance of my mentors, I have kind of created a checklist that I follow.

The Coaching Model, a tool designed to support a coaching culture, is comprised of the following steps:

1) Establish the coaching relationship – Create and nuture a respectful and reciprocal relationship. This is the first step to break the ice and develop trust

2) Assess the Situation – Reflect on and understand the situation by sharing observations, asking clarifying question or gathering additional information. This makes the employee or person feel that you are genuinely interested in their development.

3) Define Desired Outcome – Identify the most desirable outcomes in the situation and discuss the changes that need to occur to achieve these outcomes.  This is one part of goal setting, you make the individual think what they want out of this relationship and if the outcome is realistic.

4) Determine & Commit to Take Action – Determine possible actions,
identify obstacles/enablers & commitment to take action. This helps you make your goals more reasonable, achievable and realistic.

5) Follow-up/Measure Success- Like setting goals, follow-up and measuring each successful milestone is very crucial. Someone will not change or improve in one day, its and on-going process and commitment.  Provide constructive feedback, noting specific examples & trends observed over time.

6) Ongoing Coaching - Provide ongoing feedback to ensure initial gains, new skills & behavioral changes are sustained over time.

The article talked stated that “Sometimes the excuses are part of a chronic problem, and business owners say it’s best to dish out a stern warning, punishment or even walking papers to the offending employee.”

Some of the ridiculous ‘Excuses’ that I have heard and read

1) My car ran out of gas or had a flat tire – This could be a genuine excuse, however it  should not be your regular excuse because you will loose your credibility.

2) The heat in my house was shut off and I had to keep my pet warm so I missed work – This is the lamiest I have heard, I was laughing when my co-worker used this.

3) I had relationship problem and I was upset, so I didn’t come to work - Shows you are a weak and immature who cannot handle things effectively

4) I was attacked by a raccoon and I had to go to the hospital - If you don’t have a hospital or dr’s note to support this story don’t even use it.

5) My alarm clock didn’t go off or it broke - This is an excuse that shows your are not well prepared and dont have a back-up plan when things go wrong

6) I missed a flight back so stuck at the airport – This could be a genuine excuse, however it  should not be your regular excuse because you will loose your credibility.

7) I had a dream last night that I would be hit by something or die or psychic said so not to leave my house – This shows that you rely on illusion to make your decision and not facts

I am still too drunk from last night and I cannot drive to work this morning – This just shows you are an immature and childish who is not fit for the job

I have actually faced few of the above incident which made me late or miss work. However these incidents should happen once in a blue moon day (genuinely) and not always or occasionally.  The bottom line is to be honest and let your employer know the truth, and if the circumstance is genuine the employer can make exception and work around your schedule.

‘Don’t make bogus EXCUSES-Employers knows it all’

Standout Skills

1) Presentation – It is an asset that one needs to master (it’s an on-going process). How effectively you can communicate your message to different set of audiences can be a huge differentiators between you and your colleagues.  I found the benefits of this skill when I was working on a important project for my team and had to acquire funding and  support across the board. With the guidance from my mentors, I was able to effectively tailor the content for the audience (5 different groups from co-workers to senior management).  I got a lot of positive feedback and support because the content kept the audience interested. For example- Financial details was key for the senior management however technical detail and interface was key to the co-workers.

2)Balance- Like anything in life, one needs to have a right balance between Aggressiveness-Professionalism-Politeness and Recognition (Recognizing others).  Misalignment in any one of the legs of this Balance table will tip you in the negative direction. Most people lack in recognizing other when they help you, this is an important leg of the table. This shows that you have humility, strong network and people are motivated to do work for you.

3) Big Picture- Not only one needs to understand the big picture themselves but also share it with the group. In today’s era our teams are very dynamic and diverse, it is important that we explain the ‘Big picture’ in simple terms for everyone to understand. This shows that you care about others and you are are inspiring them to follow your or companies vision.  Best way to achieve this is to link it to each individual – make a 30 seconds verbal presentation about- What is in it for the person, why should they care and what they have to do?

4) Be in the Present- Live your life, thoughts and enjoyment. This is the biggest trap among the 4 standout skills. Technology is a boom and a curse. It definitely connects us all around the globe but has hampered our social skills. Most of us including me text or reply emails when they are talking to people, in a meeting or in a group discussion. This shows the management and others that we are not team players and we don’t care about things. One should live in the present and not worry about past and future extensively. Life is full of valleys (failures) and hills (success), one needs to accept and enjoy both. When you are in the valley phase who develop character which over period of time becomes your wisdom. Mastering this skill can put you in a different bucket than your peers.

The prolonged recession in the U.S. has significantly changed the behavior of the consumer. Because almost everybody is cutting back, manufacturers, designers and advertisers must find new methods to trim costs and identify new business opportunities.

To better understand how the consumer industry related to home furnishings and design is adapting to this change, I interviewed 85 Broads member Sandra Oster, a well known interior designer with a roster of elite clients world-wide ( [sandraoster.com] ). View Ms. Oster’s 85 Broads profile at [secure.85broads.com].

Ms. Oster started seeing a downward trend in her business as a result of the recession. Nonetheless, she was more determined than even to create a new design venue to turn her business around. She analyzed the consumer market, identified new opportunities and spun off a completely new niche in her industry. Her brainchild, ‘Decorator Tag Sale’ ( [decoratortagsale.com] ), brings together buyers and sellers from all across the world to view home furnishings exclusively selected by famous designers. This website offers consumers the opportunity to purchase high-end designer inventory at discounted prices.

When asked how she started her business and what kept her motivated, Ms. Oster responded, “It was not easy to stay focused on my goal. However with perseverance, the ability to think outside the box, support from friends and family as well as an unwavering belief in my idea, I was able to stay confident.”

She told me how she identified the “Decorator Tag Sale” concept. “I realized that my warehouse storage facility which was filled with unwanted returned customer products, precious accessories from international and local shopping trips as well as custom furniture, fabric and wallpaper was continuing to expand. As the inventory expanded, the amount of money “invested” with this merchandise was also growing. Whenever I would look at my ‘black-hole’ as I affectionately named the space, I would wonder if I was the only designer who had leftover merchandise that they would want to sell! So I decided to call some other local designers and speak to them about their experience with valuable collectibles and furnishings that they were also stockpiling. That is when I came to realize that many, many others were in my situation and we were all struggling to carry all of the added costs involved with warehousing! Decorator Tag Sale was born!”

She continued, “The conversation with other designers motivated me to start a new niche in my business that would target a different set of consumers, ones who are interested in buying already vetted designer inventory at discounted prices. I created a business proposal and signed up a core team of designers who would enthusiastically support my vision.”

Ms. Oster’s experience is a great lesson for me and others starting their careers. We must identify a skill, product or consumer demographic that we have not explored and work toward finding opportunities. This does not mean that we need to start a completely new business or learn a new skill, but it is important to move out of our comfort zone to achieve the next big thing. Risk is an important element in success and we should not be afraid to step over the line of security to explore all of the possibilities. The famous quote “making the most of what you have and what you know” fits perfectly into this scenario.

Today Ms. Oster’s ‘Decorator Tag Sale’ is a flourishing internet e-commerce business with goals reaching a national as well as an international market. Her priority continues to be reaching as many consumers and designers as possible with her new website and involves as much social media and public relations as possible! On a parting note Sandra mentioned, “Everyone needs to constantly challenge themselves to grow in these tough times. Any business today can be improved by mentally stepping outside of the formal boundaries and trying to examine the structure and the initial message of your business. Miracles happen when you do that.”

“Success for Heaven” is the good and happy side of Success just the opposite of “Success from Hell”

Principle 1-  On Kawara Principle- On Kawara is a Japanese painter. He has since 1966 made a long series of ” date paintings” (the Today series), which consist entirely of the date on which the painting was executed in simple white lettering set against a solid background. You may this is very simple how hard can this be, and why is he such a famous painter. Well the real-deal is “sustained arc and intensity” over a long period of time. For someone to be successful in what they want they need to keep doing or trying for a long time to see positive results, just like Mr On Kawara. He has been doing these paintings for last 44 years.

Principle 2 – Be comfortable  with Failures - Be very clear of what kind of failures you are willing to have.  So even if you face these failures you should not steer-off from your end goal. For example – If you are starting a new business, you may be willing to loose profit for 1 year, however you are not willing to file bankruptcy.

Principle 3-Make an expression – Make every time you “touch” (meet or interact) with someone make it a moment of expression. Think about who you want to be when you interact with this person. Have a smile as that leaves a lasting expression on a person.

Principle 4 – Seek Serendipity - We all are busy doing things that are important to us or that add value to our end goal. However one should do things 3-5% of their time that don’t add value in one’s opinion. You will be amazed to see how much you learn and how you can use the skills from these “non-value add” activities in your life.

Disclaimer:- This blog is my interpretation of Niko Canner’s 4 principle which may not be his exact words.

He continued and said that “Leaders with character lead with a genuine concern for the greater good of all. Although they care for their own needs, they are just as concerned for their employees, company, customers, community, etc.” The beauty of character-based leadership is that it can be intertwine with other popular style of leaderships.

Things my mentor suggested me to strengthen my style:

1)  Write your values in a wheel format and not as a list – The reason being, when we right it as a list we make it a hierarchy list – it implies a ranking in which some things are more important than others. Your values should look like a wheel with each value as a spoke.  A smoothly functioning wheel has balanced spokes.

2) Focus on Behavior- Leadership character is about tangible behavior. It is what you say and you do, this determines your reputation and good name. This will help you to build and strengthen your character. Your behavior can help you learn how to speak and act in ways that reflects positive character qualities.  Consistency in your behavior will build your reputation over time; resulting in greater respect and trust and stronger emotional connections between you and others.

3) Let action control your attitude- Don’t let emotions run you. Great Action = Great Attitude = Great Results = Great Lifestyle!

Leadership can never be divorced from the individual. And as a leader, you cannot impart what you do not possess. This is why “the main ingredient of good leadership is character”. For me, leadership development is a very personal prospect, a life-changing event.

So why not add “character” aspect to it and make leadership development an integral part of life and not just another skill you learn!

Believe in what you do and then see it’s impact!

One of the projects that my husband worked on; “To reduce the attrition rate in his companies top performing team”, gave me a deep insight on “Why Top talent leaves?” I was shocked to see the staggering cost to the company and it’s strategic market position due to high attrition rate. The average costs of replacing today’s defecting work force are eating away at the profitability of even the healthiest organizations.

There are multiple dimension that must be infused in place and aligned for an organization to achieve world class retention. Some of the key elements to Retain Top Talent are:

• Have an effective management team- There are number of management/leadership representatives and systems that influence high retention rate. However managers are the backbone to retain top talent. Most of the people including me work for their manager and not for their companies most of the time. The commitment and dedication in employee’s career from the manager represents the company’s commitment. Manager’s behavior and his/her focus on employee productivity can increase the probability that an employee will remain committed to an organization over time.

• Provide Opportunity to grow and learn – Top talent feel a void and feel stagnant if they don’t have an opportunity to be challenged on a regular basis, to try new opportunities or to learn new knowledge or skill.  One way to retain this talent is to promote external learning such as certifications, attending seminars. Also the management should involve top talent in decision making process and strategic projects. Top talent have ‘Accountability’ as a very important skill on their list and they use it to excel in their assignments.

• Reward them- Reward and recognition is key.  Top talent is not always motivated or productive when they are  rewarded money. Money is important, in addition to money, most top talented employees love receiving large amounts of praise and recognition for their accomplishments. Simple “Thank-You” card from senior leadership or the manager is a “Feel-Good factor”  for Top talent and goes a long to motivate and to retain them. They feel that they are important, they are cared by management and their is a purpose for them to be part of the organization.

More Talent we retain, more talent we attract!!